Continuing to scan the shelves, you notice a few more books, and a some stacks of loosely bound paper. After you enquire as to what those are, Sekiri responds "Oh, those. Well, it is possible, just possible mind you, that my memory these days isn't what it once was. So on a few occasions I have taken the step of having someone transcribe some talker conversations or board posts so I don't have to try and remember them." You take a look at the rest of the shelves.

THE AGES OF WIZARDRY

As you cast your eyes over The Ages of Wizardry Volumes 1 and 2, Sekiri notices and says "I wrote those a few years ago now, so they're not entirely current. They might give you a good appreciation of all those who have gone before you though. Feel free to borrow those." You scan the forward.

                         FORWARD

This work was created with the aim of providing the
younger generation of Wizards with a sense of the
rich history that surrounds Wizardry and the Guild,
or to provide a sense of nostalgia to those that
were a part of it.

It details the changing nature of Wizardry from its
raw beginnings to where we are today, examining the
journey down the ages with a look at the major
events and ideals which have shaped the guild
and Wizardry over the past aeons.

We also take a look at some of the Wizards which
have been spawned by the ages, and examine what
impact the age in which we were born may have on
who we are and how we live.

This work is dedicated to all those who have played
a part in this journey and helped to create our
history and identity.


                                         sincerely,
                                         Sekiri Thanatos

[Borrow The Ages of Wizardry to continue reading]


MERGER PLANS ANNOUNCED

by Sekiri Thanatos

A senior member of the Wizards' Guild Corporation (WGC) today confirmed market speculation by announcing that the WGC board is strongly considering a takeover bid for the struggling Assassins' Guild Limited (AGL), whose shares have plummeted over 40% in the past year following an industry downturn.

The WGC, already a major investor in the AM property market, has decided to further diversify and expand its core business into other service segments after market analysis revealed the magical service industry has a projected grown rate of only 2% over the next 3 to 4 years.

A WGC spokesperson had this to say during a press conference this morning.

'In order to meet the expectations of our investors for continued profit growth, and given the number of set-backs the corporation has suffered in the magical services industry over the last 5 years, WGC has determined that we need to expand our revenue lines into new areas in the coming decade.'

The spokesperson did not rule out additional acquisitions in the future, saying:

'The proposed takeover is just the first step in that direction for us, and we believe that investing in established players is the most efficient means of expanding our business. We will look at further proposals brought to us in the next financial year.'

WGC believes that it can turn around the struggling AGL's performance by achieving significant management and operational synergies after the merger. This is to be achieved by introducing a number of measures into the struggling company.

'WGC will introduce cost-cutting measures into AGL, which we believe can reduce the high operational costs of the company by as much as 15% in the next two years. In particular, we will pay close attention to the outdated inventory management and HR departments, whose inefficiencies are causing significant long and short term costs to the company.'

The HR department has been criticised in the past for their '20% only policy' which sees 80% of all new staff members not 'finish' their training program, regardless of aptitude. One HR source revealed that nearly half of all staff members who successfully complete the training are disposed of by the HR department to 'make up the numbers'.

While WGC credits the policy for its role in keeping down staff wage costs, it believes that it is an inefficient way of managing the process. The new policy would achieve additional benefits by eliminating half the candidates as soon as they are accepted into the company, thereby significantly lowering the use of company resources in training programs. In addition, the HR staff will undergo a similar policy, leading to department costs also being cut by 50% in line with the cost reduction program. Happily, under AGL 'retirement' policies, redundancy payments will not be required.

But the key synergy, which WGC believes justifies the proposed 20% premium over the current market price, will result from the union of underutilised staff resources in both WGC and AGL to create a new subsidiary company. The spokesperson for WGC revealed in the press conference:

'Both AGL and ourselves have staff resources, particularly at the lower levels, which are not being efficiently managed. In non-peak times, the utilisation rate of junior staff members can be as low as 40% in both corporations. We propose to provide approximately half of these staff on secondment to a new energy company during these times.'

The new company, Ankh-Morpork Natural Gas (AMNG), will provide low cost heating and light to the poorer section of AM. The new company will utilise the ability of the staff members of WGC to produce large numbers of cabbages at no cost, and the ability of AGL staff members to produce the natural gas from the cabbages.

While WGC has considered the plan in the past, the proposal was rejected after a feasibility study indicated that if the staff members were involved in both phases of production, then productivity in the first stage was likely to be particularly low, and staff turnover particularly high. When asked what had changed, the spokesperson had this to say:

'Since we will now have different staff involved in the second phase, we believe that, particularly given the sadistic nature of some members of WGC junior staff, the productivity for the first stage of production will be particularly high. In addition, given the 'resignation' approach of AGL, we believe that staff turnover will also no longer be a concern.'

'While AMNG will require significant investment in infrastructure to deliver the gas to the homes of 20% of AM, once completed, operational costs are low, and we believe that the new company will meet WGC's required return on capital within 5 years, and add significant value to the company in the future.'

The proposed bid will not be a hostile takeover, with the board of AGL approving the deal after a meeting with WGC representatives yesterday. The board gave approval to the deal after receiving assurances that the entrance into the energy market will be confined to junior staff levels, and that WGC has committed to guarantee the jobs of all staff at AGL.

AGL shares rose 16% after the announcement, while investor doubts over whether WGC will realise the expected benefits from the takeover bid wrote down the value of WGC shares by 3%.

A formal announcement of the takeover bid is expected to come from the WGC board later this week.


ROLLING STONE

by Sekiri Thanatos

Sekiri Thanatos Reports:

A month long investigation into a hole in the courtyard at the Unseen University yesterday reached a shocking discovery. For reasons unknown, the former occupant of the hole, a stone flagstone, appears to have absorbed even more background magic than is typical, and as a result is now wandering the streets attempting to pass itself off as a wizard, even to wearing a robe.

A spokesperson for the University told us today that retrieving the flagstone is essential before it corrupts the students and gives them the idea that they, too, can do what they wish.

The Watch were called in, but with the trail now months old, could do little to apprehend the fugitive flagstone. Thus they have launched this appeal to the readers of TGS to help them locate the missing block.Head of the investigation, Constable Flint, advises that caution is necessary.

Contact with the fugitive, once found, should be limited for your own safety. When identified to the Watch, the flagstone will be dealt with by a special wizard Stone and Wood Assault Team, or SWAT, task force (Note, those referring to the group as S____ Wearing Assault Team really should watch out. They have big sledgehammers you know, and axes, and lots of pointy things).

The suspect is described as being three feet tall, three feet wide, made of a dull grey stone, and literally, as thick as a brick. However, since the flagstone may be in disguise, a number of behavioural and geological experts, as well as witnesses who have encountered the flagstone have been called upon to provide a number of identifying characteristics to aid in its capture.

Confused reports out of the students at the University, the only witnesses to actually go outdoors into the courtyard, indicate that a number remember either stubbing their toes or tripping over the place the hole wasn't. It seems that this flagstone was actually thicker than the blocks of stone around it, and those attempting to find the fugitive should keep in mind that it may in fact be as thick as two bricks.

Eyewitnesses of the flagstone in animated form concur. From the behaviour demonstrated by the flagstone to date, the magic which animated the stone unfortunately appears not to have imparted any more sense or intelligence than is possessed by the ordinary garden variety of building stone. If you meet anyone of this description who is not a member of the Warrior's Guild, please contact the watch immediately.

The assembled team of experts investigated the reports that the runaway flagstone has been performing acts of magic. Experiments indicate that the stones of the Unseen University can, in some limited respects, listen to the events around them. Given the length of time the flagstone lay inert and trodden on by wizards and students, it appears that it may have picked up some of the conversations regarding magic and spells of those passing over it, allowing it to maskerade as a wizard now.

However, in reviewing the plans and old iconographs of the courtyard, an independent builder may be able to shed some light on the behaviour of the flagstone in this respect. While it is news to this reporter, it seems that there is in fact a right and wrong way up for a flagstone to be placed. It is the opinion of this builder that the flagstone in question was mistakenly placed upside down and backwards.

After reporting this to the investigating team, further experiments were conducted. The results indicate that this leads to skewing the perceptions of stone and rock that is partially aware, and thus causes them to misunderstand and get backwards, wrong and incorrect, almost everything they hear, while at the same time, leaving them unaware that they do so.

By investigating test scores, correspondence and conversations between groups of wizards for those who get almost everything regarding magic and other advice wrong, administrators were able to eliminate almost half of the Wizard's guild from the suspects list.

However, since the list of suspects is still far too long, two behavioural experts were called on to add anything that could narrow the list further. Despite supposedly posing as a wizard, the fugitive flagstone is still in fact, stone, and as such, the experts believe it will display the usual stubbornness and be stuck in it's own narrow stony view of reality. This should assist in identification, when combined with the above, the flagstone should be readily identifiable as it will refuse to accept it can be wrong about the backwards knowledge it attempts to share and use, even when presented with proof, examples and the opinions and facts of dozens of wizards, when it is contrary to what it believes must be true.

If you meet anyone of the above description, quietly back away and do not reach for any sort of stone working implement or attempt to listen to, or reason or argue with the block of stone. Instead, contact the watch or Unseen University immediately for your reward.

This reporter has his own leads, including a man who now speaks fondly of arguing with, and beating his head against, the massive wall surrounding Bes Pelargic after supposedly encountering the fugitive, and a traveller who failed to get a man seemingly drowning in two inches of water to turn over after he replied that he hadn't seen that help anyone before, so it couldn't be the right thing to do.

No pebbles, trees or baby ducklings were harmed in the making of this report. Several trolls, blocks of stone and students were. Any resemblance to persons alive or dead in this report were purely intentional and cannot be sued over under proposed libel laws, even should they pass, since they cannot act retroactively.

CREATION

by Jhn

In the Beginning, the Server was without form, and void. And Pinkfish
moved upon the face of the hard disk, and created the OS to lie under
all. Then Pinkfish surveyed that which he had wrought, and saw that it
was Good, and yet He saw also that it lacked for Life.

And so Pinkfish created the Discworld MUD, to occupy the OS, and
consume its resources; And He sent into the MUD all manner of NPCs,
the weak, the strong, the slow, the swift, each unto their kind, until
the Disc did teem with life. He caused to come into being Cities,
great and small, and Towns, and Forests, and Deserts, and
Mountains, that each NPC might have a Place, and to each Place
there might be NPCs, even a great multitude thereof. And He looked
upon it and saw that it was Good; but the Disc was Static and
Unchanging.

Then Pinkfish said, "Let there be Guilds!" And He created the Wizards'
Guild first, that it be the Greatest, and then he brought forth the
Guilds of Assassins, Warriors, and Thieves, and to end, he let be the
Witches and the Priests, for All must have a place, from the Greatest
unto the Least, and he set Balance to be their Law. Then Pinkfish
said, "Let there be Creators!", and there came Creators into the Disc,
to rule it, and to rule over it, and to wield dominion over the NPCs
of the field, and the Guilds of the land, and even over the Rules and
Laws that did bind All together.

And Pinkfish opened wide the ports to the Disc; and Players came into
the Disc, to dwell there for Ever and Ever.


POST SOMETHING!

by Glennridge

Re:#1 Somebody!
Note #51 by Glennridge at Tue Mar 29 20:12:30 2005 on board wizardsguild

On Fri Mar 25 12:07:30 2005, Aeon wrote:
> Post something!

A ha ha, well well well, look who it is, fawning over me, the King of Roleplaying, and grovelling like a tortured Abu Ghraib inmate. That's right, it's a FILTHY WIZARD!

My contempt for you fat fools knows no bounds. Here I am, a hard working King of Roleplaying. I put in the hard yards to make ends meet in the cutthroat word of Kinging, and here you malodourous fools are sitting in your damp, moist UU rooms, touching yourselves and waiting for your next meal. You sicken me with your indolent behaviour!

Why, I demand that you pay homage to me, the King of Roleplaying! I demand tithing! Four fifths of every meal served! Three kilometres out of every four kilometres of lightning thrown! 2000 Kelvin out of every fireball! 4 kilogrammes out of every five floating shields that really annoy me when I try and distribute Royal Beatings!

Hum. Maybe I am being a little too harsh on you all. There is one among you who *almost* makes up for the terrible, hideously deformed faults of the rest of you prattling jackanapes. That man is ..... Space Butler! .. No, wait. That man is...

SEKIRI!

This man is a god among your wizards. A GOD. How's that for ironic? I have known him since he was a small boy, all too eager to create illusions of buxom fairies to comfort him in the night. Since those heady days of yore, this Man has put in the Hard Yards, as I have, making a webbage page for you lacklustre dolts, too incompetant to work things out for yourselves. He advanced his magic skills so far that I know for a fact that it made the rest of you troglodytes cry yourselves to sleep, and soil yourselves in that aforementioned sleep, just at the thought of his stultifying powers. True, he may harbour a certain 'evil twin', who shall remain one of the Nameless, but that does not detract from his awesome goodhood.

In light of his great achievements, I hereby officially appoint Sekiri as my regent. He shall, from this time forward, be known as 'Prince Sekiri the Totally Radical', and anyone who laughs at him or his title, even a little bit, shall be flayed alive and inserted into the cavernous rectum of the most corpulent of your number, where he / she shall spend the rest of their days mouldering and wishing they were elsewhere.

THE KING HAS SPOKEN!

GR.
Hail To The King, Baby


ENLARGING THE ORDER ROOM

(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: This is just a brief annocement on behalf of the Shadows. We have anexed the Oasis, one of us will be on hand at all times to deal with the natives. Please visit only by invitation. Thank you.

Nif Onna Stik grins at you.
Sylvan grins at you.

(Wizards) Canuk wisps that he peers

You tell Nif Onna Stik: Well...one of you, me, falkentyne or ranma seems to always be here.

(Wizards) Gaelen wisps that he frowns

Belcar laughs at you.
Canuk chuckles at you.

Sylvan tells you: mean oldbies who took shadows because you didnt need other primaries
You beam at Sylvan.
You tell Sylvan: Ah, you know our secret full title then.
Sylvan grins at you.

(Wizards) Belcar wisps: Right! I make that "Open season" at the Oasis everyone! :)
(Wizards) Avon wisps: yeah, I'm almost tempted to go, and usually have trouble working up enough enthusiasm to kill stuff that regens in the same room as me ;)
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: I'm afraid that as both myself and Nif are here at present, there is currently insufficient resources available. Please hold.

Belcar chuckles at you.

(Wizards) Belcar wisps: Ohh..Sekiri and Nif are in competition! :)

To the north, Belcar shouts: A hermit! :)

(Wizards) Nif wisps: Not at all ;)

Belcar grins at you.

(Wizards) Nif wisps: Sekiri wins all the time, 'cos I have to take lots of naps.
(Wizards) Nif wisps: It's my age.

Belcar arrives from the west.
Belcar chuckles.

(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: Aye, and my walking frame is a speedwalker model, much better than his.
(Wizards) Belcar wisps: Ahh..but I have the Zimmerframe 2001! Mwahahaahaaahaaaahaaaahaaaaaaa.
(Wizards) Woza wisps: With chrome hubcaps?
(Wizards) Belcar wisps: Platinum, actually.

You go There goes the neibourhood! at Belcar.

(Wizards) Woza wisps: Ah, the sports model!
(Wizards) Belcar wisps: Oldbies are rich. Playtesters even richer. Senior Playtesters richest of all :P
(Wizards) Canuk wisps: Ah, but to my knowledge, npc's get free waliking frames. So that don't count, Belcar.

You laugh at Belcar.

(Wizards) Belcar wisps that he mutters at Sekiri, as he holds up, and waves his Zimmerframe 2001 (with platinum hubcaps)
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: Road Hog!
(Wizards) Belcar wisps: You'd better believe it, youngster!
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: Just you wait, I've got the newbie Chariot 2002 on order!
(Wizards) Nif wisps: Hedgehog!
(Wizards) Belcar wisps that he beeps his accessory frog shaped horn, with special "Taft-o-noise" enhancement
(Wizards) Belcar wisps that he goes *Click* just to make you all jealous :P
(Wizards) Woza wisps: oooohh!
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps that he plays back a recording *Nopleasedon'tI'llleavetheoasisrightnowgivememyarmback* to make you all nervous
(Wizards) Woza wisps that he trembles
(Wizards) Belcar wisps: It's true. I left. I'm hunting evil anyway :P
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: I'm eeevil.
(Wizards) Woza wisps that he gives Sekiri his money and runs away fast
(Wizards) Nif wisps: *pouts* I wanna be evil for dkdd, but can't help myself
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps that he sits back with a satisfied sigh to count his well-gotten gains

Belcar grins at you.

(Wizards) Woza wisps that he pours Sekiri's port

You beam at Belcar.

(Wizards) Belcar wisps that he steals it

You peer at Belcar.

(Wizards) Sekiri wisps that he grumbles, probably poisoned anyway
(Wizards) Woza wisps: Curses! Foiled!
(Wizards) Belcar wisps that he dies, suddenly
(Wizards) Woza wisps: wrong wizard!!
(Wizards) Nif wisps: Who's this Warrax person, surely he whas no right to be our Oasis?
(Wizards) Woza wisps that he pours another glass
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: Moving Target Nif!
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: Ha, see, that's what you get for coming into our oasis right Nif, just took care of Dantheman.
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps that he whistles innocently 'The decapitated corpse of Moradon and a white desert robe are on the ground.'
(Wizards) Woza wisps that he obsequiosly hands Sekiri an eye. "Here, Massa, Smite teh evil intruder into the fair oasis"!
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: But...the only one in here right now is you!

Belcar chuckles at you.

(Wizards) Woza wisps: May I respectfully suggemight benefit from some optical enhancement devices?
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: Show some respect young whippersnapper, what's a turtle doing talking anyway.
(Wizards) Woza wisps that he bows
(Wizards) Woza wisps: Belcar failed a spell again, sir!
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: Tsk, you'd think he would have learnt at least the rudiments of magic by now.
(Wizards) Woza wisps that he says what sekiri wants to hear
(Wizards) Belcar wisps: Eh? I did *not*
(Wizards) Nif wisps: *cheers* That restores my erm faith...
(Wizards) ChahdzI wisps that he grins
(Wizards) Avon wisps: well if it's any consolation, I fail spells all the time ;)
(Wizards) Woza wisps that he wonders where Avon thinks he got the idea...
(Wizards) Belcar wisps: The only spell I tend to "fail" is Stacklady's Morphic Resonator .. much to my amusement :)
(Wizards) Nif wisps: Very satisifying, Avon ;)
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: I never fail!
(Wizards) Scorpion wisps: but you try to fail spells Avon you ol' dog =)
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: I do however sometimes misplace the effects of success.
(Wizards) Woza wisps: but what do you cast...
(Wizards) ChahdzI wisps: we know Sekiri your perfect ;)
(Wizards) Gaelen wisps that he gets borad looking at all the interesting corpses about the oasis
(Wizards) Avon wisps: I can't even cast my orders spell.
(Wizards) ChahdzI wisps: which is
(Wizards) Nif wisps: Me neither - I have loads of trouble with dkdd
(Wizards) Scorpion wisps: you could try maxing your primaries then Avon =)
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: I've never tried it, best way to avoid failing.
(Wizards) Avon wisps: I am trying, and I have been for the last year!
(Wizards) Woza wisps that he leaves for the bus
(Wizards) Nif wisps: Ah well, sleep is winning... Goodnight all, and good luck. :)
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: No problem Nif, Falkentyne is here to take your place :)
(Wizards) Nif wisps: Hmmm.Actually, I think it's the beer.
(Wizards) Nif wisps: *laughs*
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps that he mutters I'm stuck here until ranma gets back


TWO WONGS

(Wizards) Aerk wisps: I like gloomy better. Except when that bastage Sekiri is there, killing my precious NPCs.
(Wizards) Aerk wisps: Bah, they changed Skund. Again.
(Wizards) Aerk wisps: that he needs to reblorpe.
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: I have an urge to prune some trees from time to time. Back to nature you know.
(Wizards) Aerk wisps: Well, keep your naturla urges off me
(Wizards) Xyogra wisps: haha
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: Do you need pruning?
(Wizards) Aerk wisps: *natural
(Wizards) Aerk wisps: No, all my limbs are of a good length.
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: Ah, but if you cut them back, they'll grow better next season.
(Wizards) Aerk wisps: I somehow doubt this
(Wizards) Xyogra wisps: good logic sekiri
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: Can't hurt to experiment.
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: Well, can't hurt me anyway.
(Wizards) Aerk wisps: That depends, I might bleed on you.
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: I know a good drycleaners.
(Wizards) Aerk wisps: Or flail at you with my stumps.
(Wizards) Aerk wisps: Wong Brothers' Laundry: Two Wongs Can Make It White.
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: Practising spells and using your guild commands.
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: That's the one.
(Wizards) Aerk wisps: I know because I secretly rifle through your robes looking for experimentation documents I can sell to Noda and Bremen.
(Wizards) Xyogra wisps: i don't inderstand giuld points
(Wizards) Aerk wisps: But all I find are gumwrappers, pocket dimensions, and laundry tags/
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: Oh, I don't write anything down. *taps his noggin* All up here.
(Wizards) Aerk wisps that he ponders ways to remove Sekiri's brain.


PALM TREE

(Wizards) Geryon wisps: teaching outside of the UU student lounge
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: But that could be anywhere! Well, aside from one room.
(Wizards) Geryon wisps that he specifies JUST OUTSIDE of the UU student lounge
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: Ah, now I understand. Thanks old man.
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: You could have confused a lot of people!
(Wizards) Geryon wisps: hehe... or ONE PERSON... old gitte!
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: I'm never confused. Just occassionally unsure who, where and what I am.
(Wizards) Winswand wisps: a genetically engineered super-intelligent cabbage?
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: Could be.
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: I spent two months as a palm tree once.
(Wizards) Winswand wisps: date or coconut palm tree?
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: Dunno, I think I dropped some of them on some people walking past. So I'm guessing probably coconut.
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: Very minimal risk of cracking open people's heads. Where's the fun in that?
(Wizards) Gahers wisps: You must have had so many fronds.
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: I think there was some weird guy nearby who kept yelling Wilson or something. So for a while, I thought I was a palm tree named Wilson.
(Wizards) Exoth wisps: I'm sure I heard about children flooring people with dates - it was on a list somewhere.
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: Then I found out that I wasn't Wilson. Which was a shame, since he had a better dental plan than I did.
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: Very important to palms, dental plans.
(Wizards) Winswand wisps: what about a blind date?
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: Sheesh, and people think I'm looney. Coconuts, remember.
(Wizards) Gahers wisps: Did you have a lovely bunch?
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: Not for me to say, really.
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: You could always ask Wilson.
(Wizards) Gahers wisps: You devilish palm, you! I bet you were a hit with the ladies.
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: I may have hit a few, yes..
(Wizards) Winswand wisps: rather, with the laddles
(Wizards) Winswand wisps: wooden ones
(Wizards) Winswand wisps: unless the hit was with a coconut
(Wizards) Gahers wisps: Got no dates though?
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: Indeed. And I say may, because well, palm or no palm, my eyesight isn't the best. It was hard to tell from way up there.
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: Sadly no, just a bunch of nuts.
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: I think they escaped from somewhere.
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: They started praying to something or other. Palms don't hear to well. Perhaps they were worshipping me.
(Wizards) Xiaoya wisps: With open palms?
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: Yes, the cheap barstewards!
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: Not even any gold or incense.
(Wizards) Kripsi wisps: i've only been here for half this conversation, so why is Sekiri thinking he is/was/might've been a tree?
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: I thought about smiting them, but well, I vaguely remembered something about lightning striking the highest point.
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: Get it right. A palm tree please.
(Wizards) Geryon wisps: What? Eh? A plain tree?
(Wizards) Kripsi wisps: i just said tree as the universal term, as you are still a tree of some sort no? I don't want to be seen as plantist.
(Wizards) Gahers wisps: There's only one way to tell: Cut him down and count his rings.
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: Oh no, I'm fairly sure I got over being a tree at some point.
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: It may have been after I caught on fire. It's hard to tell, really.
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: You see, I only vaguely remembered about the lightning bit. And in my infinite wisdom, I thought I probably should ignore me.
(Wizards) Gahers wisps: Seagull poo is very flammable I imagine.
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: I'll have to take your word for that one, I don't think I've ever been a Seagull.
(Wizards) Gahers wisps: Oh its great fun!
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: Right, I'll add it to the list.
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: So anyway, while I was on fire, I had the idea that it would be better not to be flamable.
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: Unfortunately, I turned into something that was inflamable.
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: Was a little confused about the definition there.
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: Not for long though, of course.
(Wizards) Sekiri wisps: Turns out I had a dictionary with me. Cleared that right up.


URL: http://www.gunde.de/discworld/sekiri/other.html